Biology
by MusicNinja
Summary: Ferb's biological mother returns from england, not having seen her son in almost a decade. How will the somewhat peaceful and certainly happy Flynn-Fletcher family react to this fateful reunion and what changes will occur. Rated T for kidnapping.
1. Chapter 1

So, I recently got into the show Phineas and Ferb, namely because it's clever, entertaining and heart warming. But, after watching nearly every episode on the internet and repeated scourings of wikipedia, I couldn't find anything about the missing bio parents (Phineas's bio dad and Ferb's bio mom) so my diabolical mind set a working on this.

As usual, I own nothing (except the characters I make up which should be obvious 'cause they're not on the show) and I hope you enjoyed.

* * *

The alarm clock sounded at precisely 7:30 AM on June 14, a week in to summer vacation. While most children their age would still be in bed for the next two hours at least, the boys of the Flynn-Fletcher Family did not believe in wasting time. Phineas, the younger of the two, leapt out of bed first and grinned at his step brother.

"Beat 'cha again, slowpoke!" He laughed. "Come on, let's go get breakfast!"

Ferb smiled and slipped out from under the covers as well. Phineas was already pulling on his orange and white striped t-shirt and blue jean shorts. Ferb buttoned his own shirt and pulled on the same pair of purple pants he always wore. Actually they were a different pair of purple pants than yesterday. Phineas and Ferb had closets full of the same style of t-shirts and slacks. The outfits were comfortable and the boys were of an age that they did not care a thing about the changing world of fashion. Besides, with the activities the boys usually engaged in, having clothes they could get dirty in was a plus.

Ferb could hear Phineas already racing down the stairs, greeting their sister Candace on her way to the bathroom. Candace muttered something angrily and Ferb hurried to join his brother. Candace was sixteen this summer and still, apparently, bitter over her ineffectual attempts to "bust" them for their many projects over the summer. Projects such as building a rocket, a roller coaster and a portal to mars, creating a one hit wonder and a clothing line and racing chariots. The projects, Ferb had to admit, while amazing and quite fun, were not exactly "street legal". Still, providence seemed to be on their side as all of Phineas and Ferb's projects disappeared as soon as they were done with them, taking a harsh toll on their sister's sanity.

"Good Morning, Ferb." Mom smiled as he came down the stairs. Ferb said nothing but smiled back at her. Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher took her stepson's silence in stride. She had learned many years ago when Ferb first came to live with them that it was nothing personal. Ferb rarely spoke to anyone. It wasn't that he was sullen or stupid; he simply didn't have a lot to say.

"So what do you boys have planned today?" She asked.

"Nothing yet." Phineas said happily, "But we'll think of something, right, Ferb?"

Ferb nodded.

"You always do." Linda smiled. "Your father and I are going to the Antiquing convention in Millbrook. We'll be back around three."

"Okay." Phineas said. "Have a good time."

"Oh we will!" Ferb's Dad, Lawrence, came in through the living room. His eyes sparkled with excitement. "There's going a lecture on the carbon dating of ancient Chinese teacups!"

"Can't wait." Their mother gushed.

"Sound's cool." Phineas said. Ferb smiled slightly. His parents were interested in the strangest things but they were always happy. The family had been completed four years when Linda and Lawrence had finally tied the knot and settled in Danville. Six years ago, Ferb and his father had emigrated from the UK to America. In England, Lawrence Fletcher had been an archeologist but moved out of field work to take care of his son. America promised better job opportunities and after six months, it promised a new life as well. Linda Flynn and her old flame met again after twenty years and two marriages, starting right where they'd left off. It was a perfect love story, albeit with a rather long detour, and having spent most of his life as an only child Ferb found himself with two new siblings in addition to a new mother.

"Well we're off." Linda said, grabbing her purse. "You boys be good now."

Candace poked her head down the stairs. "You're leaving?" She asked. "I'm in charge, right? You told them I'm in charge, right?"

"Candace, nobody has to be 'in charge', you know." Her mother said exasperated.

"What if it's an emergency?" Candace demanded, coming down the stairs. "What if-?"

It was at this point that Ferb tuned out. Candace enjoyed the illusion of control. He supposed it didn't really matter who was 'in charge'. He and Phineas would do whatever popped into their minds first and Candace would inevitably try to bust them. The specifics were what kept his life interesting, the basic remained sound day after day. Candace meant well. She honestly loved and cared about both her brothers but she was a teenage girl and rather set on structure. Phineas and Ferb's projects disrupted her structure, making her even more panicked then the usual teenager. Ferb had hoped that her neurotic tendencies might ease just a bit since she finally started dating Jeremy Johnson, the boy she'd been obsessing over for the past year but alas, so long as Phineas remained dedicated to making each day worthwhile (by his own standards), Candace would continue to have panic attacks. Ferb didn't mind. It was fun to watch.

Candace finally talked her mother into conceding that she was in charge if any lives were threatened by the boy's actions or by acts of God. Satisfied, she poured herself a bowl of cereal and began to text her friend Stacy. Ferb finished his own cereal and saw that Phineas was waiting for him.

"Come on, Ferb." Phineas smiled. "Let's go sit under the tree in the back yard. Ferb nodded and followed his brother. In the hallway, they were accompanied by Perry, their pet platypus. As Phineas was fond of repeating, Perry the platypus didn't do much but he was a good pet. He was there, most of the time, when you needed him.

"So." Phineas asked as they sat down together on the grass beneath the tree, "What do you want to do today?"

Ferb shrugged. He didn't really care. Phineas made most of the decisions for the two of them. He was better at ideas. Only a few months younger, Phineas was his best friend and closest brother. What Phineas could think of, Ferb could build. He was no slouch at mechanics himself but Phineas was better at finding causes and projects, like the time they'd gotten an '80's rock band back together for their parent's anniversary or built a haunted house to cure their friend Isabella's hiccups. Ferb relished Phineas's schemes, they made his life so much more interesting. Phineas cared deeply about things and took action to make things better. When they'd first met, Phineas was the only one who didn't find Ferb's reticence disturbing. They didn't need any time to get used to each other. All they needed for friendship was to know each other.

"We could start a zoo." Phineas suggested. "Or maybe build an old timey soda shop? Any ideas, Ferb?"

Ferb sat back against the tree and thought. There was no hurry. They had all the time in the world.

* * *

Candace Flynn chatted away happily on her cell phone. Jeremy, her Boyfriend!, was telling her about his new job as a manager at Slushi-Burger. He was really big time now, making more than minimum wage. This meant he took ample opportunity to shower her with beautiful boyfriend/girlfriend gifts.

"Yeah, Jeremy, you were so totally sweet to send me those flowers!" She gushed. "Yeah, African Violets are my favorite! How did you know?"

Jeremy could have gotten her a bag of crabgrass and it would have been her favorite.

"So, hey, it's my day off…" She could almost hear his super dreamy smile over the phone, "You wanna hang out?"

"Sure, Jeremy, always!" Candace grinned. Today was going to be fantastic. "I'll just get my bike and head to your house."

"Actually…" Jeremy said uneasily, "Do you mind if we hang out at your house. My mom decided to do some remolding and there's stucco everywhere."

"Sure…" It was Candace's turn to be uneasy, "but don't you wanna go to the park or the movies or something?"

"Well, whatever you want to do, Candace," Jeremy said. "But I was kind of looking forward to hang out with you, just the two of us."

"Eheheheheheh." Candace giggled happily. "Okay, Jeremy."

"Great!" He said. "I'll be over in a little."

"Bye, Jeremy."

"See you in a bit."

They hung up and Candace leaned back on the couch and sighed. It was going to be a perfect day! The sun was shining. The birds were singing. Jeremy was coming over to "hang out" with her "just the two" of them! Phineas and Ferb were being quiet! Candace narrowed her eyes. "Too quiet." She muttered, rising and heading to the backyard. "If those two ruin my day with Jeremy, I'll- I'll- I'll bust them so hard they won't be able to see straight!"

"You two!" She shouted approaching the boys in their usual spot under the tree, "What are you doing?"

"Well, nothing yet." Phineas said. "We can't decide. It's either start a zoo or invent a new sport. What do you think?"

"Look, I don't care what you do, just stop it!" She said. "Jeremy is coming over in a bit and if you two mess it up for me with one of your little projects I'm gonna call Mom and you're gonna be sooo busted!" She stormed away. Phineas looked at Ferb.

"Mom and Dad don't believe in over medication, do they?"

"Unfortunately, no." Ferb told him.

"Pity." Phineas said. "Hey, where's Perry?"

The platypus was nowhere to be seen. "Hey, maybe that's what we should do today…" Phineas said. "Figure out where Perry disappears to all day."

Ferb shook his head.

"Yeah, you're right. He's a platypus; they don't do much." Phineas stood and walked inside. "Thinking's thirsty work, Hunh? You want anything?"

Ferb shook his head.

"Okay. Try figure out what we should do." Phineas slipped into the kitchen. Candace sat at the kitchen table, talking to her friend Stacy.

"I'm telling you, Stace, they're up to something. I just don't know what." She paused, listening to Stacy's input. "Yeah totally. I don't know why they can't be like normal kids with a lemonade stand or something."

Phineas grinned and ducked out into the back yard. "Ferb!" He shouted. "I know what we're gonna do today!"

Ferb looked up.

"We're gonna build a lemonade stand." Phineas said. "The biggest, most impressive, tricked out lemonade stand in the whole tri-state area! Go get your tools!"

Ferb nodded and got his tool box.

In the kitchen, Candace glared out the window. "Well, Ferb's getting his tool box, Stacy. It's only a matter of time now… No, I'm not obsessing too much! We're sixteen, there's no such thing!"

The doorbell rang and Candace shrieked. "I gotta go, Stacy! It's Jeremy!"

She raced through the kitchen and living room and swung the front door open. "Jeremy!" She grinned. "It's so good to-" Candace stopped short as she took the time to look at the person standing in her door way. "You're not Jeremy."

"No." The woman spoke in a posh British accent. She was tall with short spiked green hair and brown eyes. Her clothes, jeans and a dark blue hoodie, were the only normal thing about her. At her sides were two large men wearing police uniforms. Candace was immediately suspicious. This had Phineas and Ferb written all over it.

"Who are you?" Candace asked.

"My name is Katrina Ingleside, formerly Fletcher." She smiled. "You are Candace Flynn, I presume. Is your stepfather at home?"

"Fletcher?" Candace stared at the woman. She nodded.

"I'm Ferb's mother."

"Could you just wait here for a bit?" Candace said and closed the door before the woman could answer. Surreptitiously, she glanced out the window. The woman bared little resemblance to her quiet younger brother, except for the green hair. Candace had never given much thought to the former Mrs. Fletcher. She'd assumed, like her own father, Ferb's biological mother had died. Dad had never mentioned Ferb's biological mother before and Ferb hardly mentioned anything at all. Still, if this woman was really Ferb's biological mother, Candace was sure that Dad would have told them she was going. She reached for her cell phone and quickly dialed her own mother's phone number.

"Yeah, hi, Candace." Her mother answered with an already exasperated tone. "Whatever the boys are doing, I'm sure it's not as bad as you think."

"No, Mom, it's not the boys this time." Candace said.

"That's new." Her mother's tone softened. "Well, is it an emergency because I'm driving right now and I don't want to have an accident."

"Mom, there's this weird British woman here" Candace whispered into the phone. "and she says she's Ferb's mother."

"What?" Linda exclaimed.

"I don't know. She just showed up on the doorstep with a couple of cops and she says she's Ferb's mother. She's got green hair." She added as an afterthought.

"Candace, stay right there." Her mother commanded. "We're coming home. Did this woman tell you her name?"

"Katrina Ingleside." Candace glanced out the window. "How long until you get here?"

"About twenty minutes." Linda told her. "I'm turning around now. Candace, do not let her in until we get there."

"Okay."

"And keep the boys out of sight." She told her.

"Why?" Candace demanded, suddenly getting very worried. "What's wrong with this woman? Is it dangerous?"

"Candace, I've got to go. We'll be there as soon as we can, until then, you're in charge. I love you. Good bye."

"Bye, Mom." Candace knew she was speaking to dead air. Her mother had hung up. The meaning of her words began to sink in, "You're in charge." Candace knew she was only ever to be in charge when there was an emergency. The arrival of Katrina apparently signaled an emergency.

Not five minutes had passed before her phone rang again. It was her father. "Candace!" He started before she could say hello. "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah." Candace said, startled. "I mean, nothing's changed really?"

"Is Katrina still there?"

Candace looked out the window. The woman was glancing around at the house and the neighborhood. She didn't seem at all agitated by her abandonment. Rather a cool smile played across her lips as she took in her surroundings.

"Yeah, she's outside. Dad, what's going on?"

"I'll explain later." He said hurriedly. "Where are the boys?"

"Out back, building something." She hadn't even had the opportunity to figure out what yet. The morning had changed from serene to panicked so quickly.

"Get them inside. Quickly."

"But-"

"Candace, listen to me!" He had never spoken so harshly to her. "Get the boys inside now! It is imperitive that Katrina does not see them and that they do not see her! Do you understand?"

"Yes." Candace said, even though she didn't.

"Good. Now go quickly." He hung up without saying goodbye. Candace hurried to the back yard.

The boys were already building something. It was a building about two stories high. Phineas was signing a few waivers while Ferb was welding some sort of machine together.

"Phineas, what are you doing?" She demanded, momentarily forgetting her mission.

"Oh. Hi, Candace." He turned to her with a naïve smile. "We're building a lemonade stand."

"You guys need to come inside right now." Candace said before he could go into further explination.

Ferb turned off his welding gear and looked at her. "Why?" Phineas asked, also staring at her.

"Um…" Though Dad had not specifically told her to hid the woman's existence from her brothers, Candace was fairly certain that was what he wanted. "It's going to rain."

"The skies are clear." Phineas pointed out. "And the roof is almost done."

Ferb nodded.

"Look, I'm in charge and if I say it's going to rain, it's going to rain!" Candace grabbed each of them by the wrists. "Now get inside."

"Wow." Phineas starred at her, allowing himself to be dragged toward the house. "Is it an emergency?"

"I geuss so." Candace muttered.

She managed to get them inside with little resistance. Phineas and Ferb were easy enough to control when faced with a direct order. Candace looked at the front door. She could still see the unwanted visitors' shadows. The main problem would be keeping her brothers out of sight until their parents came home.

"Okay." She said, trying to figure out what to do. "Go upstairs and don't come down until I tell you, okay?"

"Candace, what's going on?" Phineas asked, looking a little worried.

"Just go upstairs, both of you." Candace told him.

"Okay." Phineas shrugged and started toward the staircase. "Hey, there's somebody at the door."

"Yeah, I know." Candace said. "Now get upstairs!"

"Okay, okay, we're going." Phineas said. As her brothers climbed the stairs, Candace's phone began to ring.

"Oh please be mom." She prayed as she picked up.

"Hello?"

"Candace?" It was Jeremy. "Are you home? I rang your doorbell and nobody answered."

"Jeremy!" She gasped. She'd compleately forgotten about him.

"Yeah, hey do you know there are two cops out here?"

"Yeah, I know." Candace rushed to the door and opened it. Jeremy stood next to Katrina Ingleside who was still patiently waiting with a calm smile on her face. "Come in." She said to Jeremy.

"Candace, what's going on?" Jeremy asked, walking past the threshold. "You seem flustered."

"It's been quite a morning." Candace said, feeling much better now that Jeremy was there. He was always so safe and comforting, with that calm dependable look on his face as though he were ready for anything.

"Candace, if it's going to rain, I'll need my toolbox." Ferb's voice on the stairs brought her out of her Jeremy filled bliss.

"Ferb-" she began but was cut short by another voice.

"Ferb?" It was Katrina Ingleside's posh British accent that spoke his name. Candace turned on her. The smile had been wiped from her face, replaced with a look of deep concentration. Her brown eyes were fixed on Ferb. He stared back at her, his face expressionless. After a few minutes, he spoke.

"Mother?"

* * *

Well, that was fun, was it not? Reviews are awesome.


	2. Chapter 2

Sorry, if you read this before I edited. I was in a hurry to get this posted before I left for work so yeah...

Anyway, second chapter. Thank you for the reviews of previous chapter and please review again. Enjoy.

* * *

No one spoke. Candace stood petrified, not only of the implications Katrina might have on her family (which, judging by her parents' reacting , would not be good) but primarily on the amount of trouble she would be in when her parents discovered she'd violated their express orders. Jeremy glanced confounded between his girl friend, her brother and the strange British woman with green hair. Ferb continued to stare wide eyed at Katrina. His face was an impassive stone, betraying no sign of happiness or fear. He seemed to be waiting for some kind of explanation but his eyes never moved from Katrina. Like wise, the woman's eyes never moved from her son. She seemed quite pleased at the development, her smile grew wider and more self satisfied. The two policemen who'd accompanied her inside did not appear to care about the family drama developing before them.

The silence was broken as Phineas wandered down the stairs.

"Hey, Ferb." He said, smiling obviously completely unaware of what was going on. "I thought you were gonna get your tool box."

Ferb glanced uneasily at his brother. Phineas could read the look immediately. "Hey." He murmured looking around the room. "What's going on?"

Before anyone could answer the woman with green hair stepped toward him. "Hello, young man." She said pleasantly. "I am Katrina Ingleside, Ferb's mother."

Phineas raised his eyebrows in surprise. He turned to his step brother. "Ferb, is this your mom?"

Ferb paused before answering in a very mild tone. "Biologically, yes."

"Oh!" One of Phineas' most convenient attributes was his immediate acceptance of whatever Ferb said, without further analysis. It made for less awkward questions. Phineas turned again to Katrina this time with a smile. "Cool. I'm Phineas."

Katrina smiled back at him. "Yes, I know."

Phineas looked intrigued. His was not an easy name to guess. People rarely looked at anyone and said "You look like a Phineas."

"Phineas, you and Ferb go back upstairs." Candace found her voice, though it was weaker than usual. Neither of her brothers moved. Katrina turned to her.

"There's no need for them to leave." She said, smiling. "It's such a pleasure to met you all. Where is Lawrence? Her voice never lost its conversational tone but there was something sinister hidden within it that made Candace reach for Jeremy's hand. He caught it.

Not a moment too soon the front door burst open and her parents hurried in. Lawrence Fletcher stopped immediately once he reached the living room. None of his children had ever seen him looking this angry. His fists were clenched and his whole body quivered with indignation.

"Katrina." He finally managed to blurt out. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Language, Lawrence." Katrina said, her Cheshire cat smile growing wider. "Our son is in the room. Along with other impressionable ears."

Lawrence Fletcher appeared too enraged to speak. His wife, standing behind him, quickly looked up and saw her sons. "Boys." She said, attempting to remain calm, "Go to your room."

"Why?" Phineas asked.

"Just do it, Phineas." She ordered. "Please. We'll explain later."

"Okay…" Phineas turned and walked slowly up the stairs and Linda knew she would be forced to make good on that promise. How she would explain it was a mystery? Ferb did not move.

"Ferb," Linda hesitated. Whatever else Katrina Ingleside might be, she was still Ferb's biological mother. Linda could not forbid him from seeing her. Fortunately, she could delegate.

"Candace." She said. "Take your brother upstairs."

Candace moved instantly to obey the order, with Jeremy following quickly behind. "Come on, Ferb." She said, shooing him up the stairway. Ferb moved reluctantly, never taking his eyes off the scene below. Phineas was waiting for them when they reached the boys' room. He immediately went to Ferb.

"Ferb." He asked carefully. "Is that really your mom?"

Ferb nodded.

"What's wrong with her?" Phineas asked. Candace shot him a look. "I mean, why are Mom and Dad acting so weird?"

"I don't know." Ferb sighed. "Dad didn't talk about her much… she left when I was very young. I haven't seen her until today."

"I wonder why she's back now." Jeremy said.

"I don't know." Ferb looked down at the floor. "My parents were two people… that really shouldn't have been together."

Candace put her hand on his shoulder. "I'm glad they were."

Ferb looked up at her and smiled.

After a few moments of silence, Jeremy posed the question on everyone's mind; "So… now what?"

"I kind of want to hear what they're talking about." Phineas said.

Candace looked at Ferb. He nodded. "Okay." She said. "but we have to sneak down really quietly or they'll catch us."

"It's okay, Candace." Phineas smiled. "We can just lower down one of the walkie-talkies and listen in here."

Quickly, Phineas attached the communicator to one of Candace's old jump ropes that the boys had borrowed when they decided to retrain a boxing legend. He then snuck quickly out to the landing just above the living room and deftly lowered it into a potted plant.

"Okay. It's on." He told them. "Don't make any noise or it might pick up the frequency." He switched on the walkie-talkie.

"Alright, enough games." Dad appeared to have finally regained control of his hitherto unseen temper. "Why are you here?"

"I already told you, Lawrence." Katrina said, evenly. "I'm here to see our son."

"The last time I heard from you, you were serving ten years in a maximum security cell for grand larceny and a number of other crimes." He growled.

"How kind of you to check in." She said, sweetly. "I believe the last time we were in contact was a good seven years ago. Or perhaps it was eight? I'm out on parole now. Good behavior."

"I somehow doubt that."

"Doubt all you like." Katrina said. "I'm here now. Officer Miller has the papers if you'd like to look at them."

There was the sound of rustling papers. After a few minutes, Lawrence asked the officers if the document was real.

"It's legitimate, sir." A deep voice answered him. "It came from London about a week ago. We double check all these things, though it's a first for us."

"But why is she **here**?" Linda asked, barely concealing her irritation. "Isn't leaving the continent a violation of parole?"

"Actually," Katrina said in a voice that made Candace want to scream. "leaving England was a condition of my parole."

"A condition?"

"It's… very difficult to be separated from one's child." Katrina's voice suddenly lost all of it's satisfaction. She appeared to have transformed into a real person for a moment. "I thought of Ferb often, regretted not being able to watch him grow up. At my parole hearing, they asked was I regretted most about my crimes and I told them it was not having a relationship with my son."

"You abandoned him." Lawrence said through clenched teeth."

"I've made many mistakes in my life." She admitted. "None I regret more. The parole board decided to grant me weekly visits with him, that perhaps it will make me a better person."

"They don't have jurisdiction here!" Linda exclaimed.

"They liaisoned with an American judge." Explained the cop with the low voice. "He approved it."

"Why weren't we informed?" Lawrence demanded. He was met with silence. Apparently no one had an answer. "This is an outrage! You will be hearing from our lawyers. Until then this woman is not to come near my son!"

"Lawrence, I am his mother!" Katrina protested. "I have a right to see him!"

"You gave up that right eight years ago when you walked out on him!" Lawrence shouted.

"I think you should leave now." Linda spoke firmly. "You'll be hearing from our attorneys."

"Alright, ma'am." The second officer said. "I don't know why you weren't informed. Here's a number you can call if you need more information. Sorry to bother you."

There was a long silence before three footsteps walked out the door, closing it softly behind them. No one spoke. Candace bit her lower lip and glanced at her brother. Ferb's face was as immobile as ever, betraying no reaction to what they'd heard. Jeremy kept his mouth shut, in spite of the questions bouncing through his mind. Candace's family usually had something exciting going on but this was the first time it was more nerve wracking than exciting. Phineas' mind was whizzing with questions as well. They'd learned very little from the conversation below but what they had learned was a revelation. The lemonade stand would have to be postponed.

As usual, Ferb said nothing. After eight years, his mother was back in his life. He had almost no memory of the woman herself but he remembered clearly the damage she left behind. It wasn't that his father was openly depressed or that he drank or did any of the stereotypical things men did when their wives abandoned the family. He was simply… distant. He threw himself into his work and into raising Ferb. No one else ever came into their lives before the Flynns arrived. It wasn't until Ferb saw his father with Linda Flynn that he realized they'd been missing something for so long. He'd called Linda "Mom" even before the two got married. He had no idea what to call Katrina.

Phineas reached forward to turn off the walkie-talkie but before he could, Dad spoke.

"I'm sorry, Linda."

Phineas withdrew his hand.

"You couldn't have known…" She had finally dropped her guard. "It's nobodies fault."

"I should have known she'd be back. There's no way we'd be that lucky to-"

"Shh." Ferb was glad. Mom always knew when to make his father stop talking. She paused before asking. "What are we going to do about the kids?"

Lawrence sighed. "There's no hope for it now. They've seen her, they know who she is. They're bound to ask questions."

"As usual." She said. "Ferb does have a right to know about her."

"I know." He sighed. "I just don't want to be the one to have to tell him."

* * *

Candace, Ferb and Phineas sat side by side on the couch, waiting for answers. Jeremy had been sent home purely as a matter of formality. Everyone knew that Candace would call him immediately after the meeting was over. Their father had his glasses off and was rubbing his forehead. Mom was pacing and drinking another cup of coffee. They looked more stressed than Ferb had ever seen them. He couldn't blame them. They'd begun the day thinking they were going to an antique convention and not three hours later their lives had changed irrevocably. He wondered if there was not something stronger than coffee in Mom's mug.

"Alright." Lawrence said in a determined voice, putting his glasses back on. "I'm sure you all have questions but I think it's best if I start from the beginning and tell you everything.

They waited, though Phineas squirmed slightly with curiosity, for Dad's story.

"I met Katrina Ingleside about a year before you were born, Ferb, in the little known region of Druselstein, near Germany. We were on an archeological dig, trying to uncover the tomb of Doofenshirmirtz, one of the earliest Druselsteinian inventors. It was believed that some of his greatest inventions, to the scale of Leonardo Da Vinci in Italy, were buried with him."

"We were both young. It'd been years since I'd felt that way about anyone. Now I wonder if she really felt the same or-" He stopped abruptly, looking at Ferb, "Anyway, we- we… had sex and were married, at my insistence, about a month later. Katrina never really wanted to tie herself down but I thought that perhaps over time she would change her mind. I was happy with my growing family and my work. We were nearing the secret tomb of Doofenshirmirtz, so close to finding the treasure. Katrina was not content. I see that now."

"When you were born, Ferb, it was the happiest day of my life." He smiled. "You changed my life. I was certain you'd also change Katrina's outlook but she seemed more and more distant. We fought a lot and she seemed increasingly obsessed with what we'd found in Doofenshirmirtz's tomb. They were plans of the most horrible kind, impossible to build in the time they were written but disturbing nonetheless. Roughly translated it was called the Disintinator, a device planned as a weapon, destroying armies in whatever direction it was fired. The Druselsteinian government didn't want such a black part of their history exposed to the public so it was locked away in a government volt. Katrina and I returned to England."

"Two years after you were born, Katrina left with out a word. I was over whelmed. The fantasy I'd been carrying on, that we were a normal family with problems but basically happy, was shattered. Even worse, when she left, the plans for the Disintinator were disappeared from Druselstein a few months later. The Druselstein government contacted me and asked if I knew who would have wanted them. I had no idea but a year afterwards, Katrina was caught when one of her confederates betrayed her. The plans were never recovered. The last time I saw her was when I testified at her trial. We divorced officially that day. She said she had no interest in being a part of our family."

"Why is she here now?" Phineas asked. It was clever of him, Ferb thought, to ask what they already knew. To his credit, Dad explained everything exactly how they'd heard on the walkie-talkie, ending with, "Your mother made an appointment with the lawyer. We're going to fight this. Don't worry."

"No." Ferb said softly.

Everyone stared at him. His father's expression did not change but Ferb could see his lips quiver slightly and his Adam's apple bob. "Ferb?" He asked in a soft voice.

Ferb sighed. Another reason he didn't speak much was because he never felt like he phrased things correctly. Phineas was much better at expressing what he wanted and Candace could talk circles around the two of them. Ferb had a much harder time with communication but if he didn't speak now, no one would.

"She is my mother." He said slowly. "If she's really changed… I'd like to get to know to her. Please."

"We don't know that she has changed, Ferb." His dad reminded gently. Linda came forward, placing her hand on her husband shoulder.

"If it's what you want, Ferb…" she said, "Then we won't prosecute her. Will we, Lawrence?"

Dad glanced anxiously between Ferb and his wife. Finally he nodded. "Alright, Linda. If you think it's better."

She nodded.

Ferb smiled slightly. Linda could always be counted on to see reason. Whatever blood he shared with Katrina, Linda would always be his mom.

"Thank you."

* * *

Aww... I found that heart warming. Anyway, please review.


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry about the delay in posting this but it's really long. At least it's long for me. I hope it'll be worth the wait.

* * *

"Mom! Mom! Mom!" Candace Flynn pushed her mother towards the back door. "You gotta see this!"

"Candace, how important is this?" Linda asked exasperated. "I'm waiting for an important phone call."

"Come on, it'll just take a minute!" Her daughter grinned. "Phineas and Ferb started a platypus themed t-shirt factory and they have workers and a show room and motivational videos that really work!"

"Do they now?" Linda glanced out the window to see her sons and their friends standing under the oak tree, apparently doing nothing. "Hi, boys! What are you doing?"

"Hi, Mom!" Phineas waved. "We made platypus themed t-shirts!" He held up a green shirt with a crudely drawn picture of a platypus.

"Very nice, boys." She smiled. "Candace, close your mouth, dear. I'll be in my office." She turned and left the children, the small group smiling the yard and the teenage girl quivering and gurgling by the sliding door.

Candace sighed, thwarted again, and walked towards the younger kids. "There was a factory here. You guys built it, I know you did! Where did it go?! Where do they all go?!"

"We don't know what happened." Phineas shrugged. "The earth just opened up and swallowed the entire thing."

"Fortunately the escape pods worked." Ferb said, glancing up at the shrinking white balls escaping into the atmosphere.

Phineas grinned. "They always do."

"Eeekehkehkeh." They looked down at the strange duck billed creature responsible for the noise.

"Oh!" Said Phineas. "There you are, Perry."

The platypus blinked at him and Candace smacked her palm against her forehead. "I can't stand it." She trudged into the house muttering.

"Well, that was fun." Phineas said, glancing around. "What else should we do today?"

"Wanna get some popsicles?" Isabella asked. Isabella Garcia Shapiro was often a party in Phineas and Ferb's projects, wandering in early on to ask; "Whacha' doin'?" An intelligent girl and therefore drawn to intelligence, her crush on Phineas was obvious to everyone except its object. This amounted to a lot of frustration for Isabella because, while Phineas was the smartest person she knew in almost every other subject, he simply could not figure out how she felt about him. Still, whatever heartbreak he might have 'caused her, Phineas was far to interesting for Isabella to stay away.

"Sounds good." The others agreed and began to head to Isabella's house. Linda poked her head out the window.

"Boys, stay in the yard." She told them.

"Why?" Phineas asked. There mother had never restricted their movements before. They'd always been able to wander without discretion.

"We're expecting someone."

"Who?"

"Ferb's…" Linda paused. She did not want to make this any more difficult than it needed to be by telling the whole neighborhood. Besides, it was still undecided what they would call Katrina. "Visitor."

"Who? Oh… right." Phineas looked at his brother. "We'll stay here then. Sorry, Isabella."

Ferb nodded.

"It's no problem." She said.

"Who is Ferb's visitor?" Baljeet, their small friend from India, asked.

"Yeah, who's comin'?" Buford Van Stomp, the neighborhood bully, demanded. He was the largest of the group with a brown military crew cut and a large tooth sticking out from his jaw. To the causal observer, it seemed strange that Buford should choose to spend time with the very people he bullied but Phineas's plans were so impressive that it was difficult to keep away. Besides, the brothers were usually able to stand up for themselves. Baljeet was Buford's main target, frequently loosing his underpants.

"It's a long story…" Phineas began.

"We'll tell you later." Ferb finished. Like Linda, he did not feel that everyone in the world needed to know of his biological mother's return. He'd inform them when he a little better idea of what and who Katrina was. "See you."

"Okay." Isabella could sense that the boys were hiding something from her and her curiosity was raging but she knew not to push it. She would get to the bottom of this mystery sooner or later but it was more prudent now to retreat. "Come on, guys."

The group left reluctantly, including the five fireside girls, part of Isabella's troop, that usually served as the work force on Phinea's projects. Phineas watched them go and turned to Ferb. "Why didn't you tell them?"

Ferb shrugged. "They don't need to know yet."

"Okay." Phineas nodded. "We can tell them later. We better go inside."

Ferb nodded. He was glad Phineas understood. The two boys wandered in and sat down in the living room. A few minutes later, Linda Flynn Fletcher came down the stairs.

"Alright." She said. "Just to make sure you understand. Ferb's… mother will be over in about fifteen minutes. The judge awarded her weekly supervised visits from one to four in the afternoon. She'll be here with a court ordered social worker."

Ferb nodded. He'd been there at the hearing.

Linda crouched down next to him. "If you don't want to do this, you don't have to."

_There was court order. _Ferb thought. _I'm pretty sure I have to. _But he said nothing. Linda nodded and turned away. Ferb felt an uncomfortable churning sensation in the pit of his stomach. He hoped he wasn't hurting Mom too badly by wanting to see Katrina. She'd been so strong through out all off this but he could tell she didn't exactly approve. Ferb sighed. He didn't quite understand his own motivations for wanting to see Katrina. She was his biological mother but his family had been happy before she returned to their lives. He wondered if it wouldn't be better to simply refuse to see her.

The doorbell rang. Linda grabbed it immediately. Katrina smiled when she opened it. The woman next to her, the court appointed social worker, did not. She was a stern woman with steel gray hair and a hard line for a mouth.

"Good morning, Mrs. Fletcher." She said without emotion. "I am Virginia Goldsplat. I'll be monitoring Ms. Ingleside's visit."

"Good morning." Linda said, ignoring the fact that it was past one o'clock.

Katrina smiled. "Good morning."

Linda nodded. "Please, come in." The fact that Linda did not want either of these women in her house, disrupting her family, did not prevent her from being courteous. Katrina Ingleside and Virginia Goldsplat entered.

"These are my sons." Linda gestured to the boys. "Phineas and Ferb."

Phineas smiled. "Hi!"

Ferb simply waved. Virginia Goldsplat knelt down to look him in the eye. "Hello, Ferb. I am Virginia Goldsplat. I'll be monitoring your visit with your mother."

Ferb nodded. Virginia stood.

"Shy, eh?" She addressed her remark to no one in particular. "That's fine."

"Can I get you something to drink?" Linda offered.

"I'll have a cup of coffee." Ms. Goldsplat said. "Cream and two sugars."

"Nothing for me, thanks." Katrina said. She sat down next to Ferb. "Hello, Ferb. How are you?"

At that moment, it occurred to Ferb, for the first time that he might actually have to speak during these visits. He wondered if he'd gotten in over his head.

* * *

_Stuck in gridlock traffic_

_So when push comes to shove, it_

_Takes a strong man to deal_

_And a better car to rise above it!_

_It takes the flying car of the future!_

_The Flying Car of The Future!_

_The Flying Car of The Future!_

_Today!_

_Runnin' into red lights_

_Makes you wanna cry?_

_No sweat, I don't mind_

'_cause I'm ridin' so high_

_In The Flying Car of The Future!_

_The Flying Car of The Future!_

_The Flying Car of The Future!_

_Today!_

"You made a flying car of the future today?!" Candace shrieked, "I am so telling Mom!"

"Okay." Phineas said as his sister dialed furiously on her cell phone. As she was dialing, the flying car of the future today veered to the right. Buford, who was currently taking his turn, panicked and hit the self destruct button. Moments later he floated safely to the ground in a white parachute.

"That was awesome!" he exclaimed. "Sorry about wreakin' the flyin' car of the future today."

"No problem." said Phineas. "We used a car from the dump. We can make another one if we feel like it."

"Mom!" Candace barked into the phone. "Phineas and Ferb are-"

"Are they there yet?" Linda demanded.

"Who?"

"Katrina Ingleside and that- Goldsplat woman." Linda said. "It's almost one! Look, get the boys ready. I'll be there as soon as I can!"

She hung up. Candace immediately snapped her phone shut and went into command mode.

"Okay! Everybody out!" she barked. "Phineas! Ferb! Get rid of the flying car of the future to-!" she looked around. It was gone. "What the-? Where did-? Oh whatever! Come on, get moving!"

The children filed reluctantly out of the backyard. Isabella turned as she reached the gate. "Phineas?" she asked. "How long will this be going on?"

"I don't know." Phineas shrugged. "I'll see you later, Isabella."

"Okay." she turned and left.

Ferb sadly watched his friends leave. These visits were quickly becoming the worst part of his day. For the last one, he'd sat in complete silence for three hours until finally they left. Katrina did seem to have changed. She was polite, even kind, deferring to Linda's wishes whenever possible. That, of course, didn't make her interesting.

"You can go with them, if you like." He told Phineas.

"Naw." His brother said. "I'll stay here."

Ferb nodded. He knew Phineas was just as bored during the visits as he was and Phineas despised being bored. Still, he was grateful for his presence at least.

"You two!" Candace commanded. "Go clean up. You've got motor oil on your hands."

"Okay." Phineas said, walking back into the house. Ferb followed him.

"You know, Ferb." Phineas said as he rinsed the soapy water from his hands. "These interruptions are really starting to cut into our projects."

Ferb nodded.

"Not that it's a problem." Phineas said quickly. "It's just…"

"I know." Ferb nodded again. "Just different."

Still, Ferb had an uncomfortable foreboding. He couldn't quite explain the reason. Katrina had been cordial. She talked about normal things, archeology (though never a mention of the Druselsteinian dig where she'd met his father), her attempts at a normal life in America, getting a job, trying to find an apartment when the parole board would allow it. She always made it a point to apologize at least once for abandoning him during their visits. She hadn't even commented on his silence, a trait which usually won Ferb over immediately. Yet, there was something he didn't trust about her.

_Residual trauma over the abandonment? I doubt it. _Ferb thought, rinsing his own hands. _She's too… good. Too reformed. It seems like an act._

The doorbell rang. "They're here." Phineas said. "Come on. Hey, where's Perry?"

Ferb shrugged.

As the stepbrothers went into the living room to meet with Katrina and the ever entertaining Miss Goldsplat, their pet platypus snuck quickly along the hallway to the laundry room. Whipping out a small brown fedora, he placed the washing machine on Delicates, hot water and jumped it. Seconds later, he was deposited via water slide into his underground base. The Flynn Fletcher family never suspected that their beloved pet platypus (whom they believe "didn't do much") was also a spy, known as Agent P.

"Hello, Agent P." A white haired, mustachioed man known as Major Monogram appeared on the video communicator. "As you requested, we looked into the background of Katrina Ingleside, formerly Fletcher. So far, it appears she was interned in Druselstein for grand larceny until recently when she was paroled but don't worry, we're still digging."

Perry saluted and hopped off his chair. He was well aware of the tensions rising in his host family since the arrival of Ferb's biological mother. So far, her story seemed up to snuff but Perry the platypus could detect the evil she'd tried so hard to keep hidden. All he needed to do was find out what she was planning and thwart her.

"Wait, Agent P." Called Monogram. "I haven't given you your mission. Doofenshirmirtz recently bought two one way tickets to Druselstein. Find out what he's up to."

Agent P saluted and continued on his way.

"Carl!" Monogram barked at his intern off screen. "There'd better not be any onions on my Slushiburger!"

"No sir."

* * *

"Candace! Wake up!"

"Mmph." Candace blinked and sat up in bed. "Mom? It's seven thirty?"

"I know." Linda was already dressed and made up but she looked extremely stressed. "Listen, I have a court date today at nine. I don't know how long it will take. Your father is working at the university until four."

"Okay." Candace nodded and started to roll over.

"No! That's not it." Linda said, shaking her. "Miss Goldsplat rescheduled Katrina Ingleside's appointment with Ferb. To ten o'clock."

"What?" Candace said, sitting straight up. "Can she do that?"

"Apparently." Linda said. "Katrina has a job interview in the afternoon. It couldn't be changed."

"This wasn't in the court order."

"I know but we don't have any grounds of refusal. Her behavior's been exemplarily." Candace detected a hint of bitterness in her mother's voice.

"So, you're in charge until your father or I get home." Linda continued briskly. "I've already called Lawrence but you know what he's like when he gets into his work."

Another note of bitterness. Candace shared it. Her father, usually absentminded, hadn't been of much help through out this ordeal. He'd dove into his work with more fervor than usual, leaving Linda to deal with Katrina and the rest of their problems. He did what she asked when he was around but he ducked out as soon as possible.

"Make sure the boys are ready and try to tidy up a little."

"Okay, Mom." Candace nodded.

"Thanks honey." Her mom leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "You've been so good about all this."

"It's no problem." Candace smiled. In truth, she actually liked being in charge.

"I've got to get down town." Linda said. "Goodbye. Love you."

* * *

There was no need to make sure her brothers got out of bed in time. They always got up obscenely early. Candace had to shower and get dressed so it was eight o'clock when she finally went to look for the boys. They were in the backyard.

"What are you two doing?" She demanded.

"Trying to decide what to do today." Phineas said. "We've narrowed it down to starting Hair Salon or building a Merry Go Round. What do you think, Candace?"

"Hair salon." Candace said, momentarily forgetting why she was there. "Merry Go Rounds are so boring."

"Ours wouldn't be." Phineas grinned. "Ferb's thought of some new features that ought to rev things up!"

"What kind of-" Candace leaned interested over the plans and remembered herself. "Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute!"

"Sure." Phineas said. "Three minutes."

"You guys can't do any of that stuff today." Candace said. "Miss Goldsplat rescheduled Ferb's appointment to ten o'clock."

"What?" Ferb said. "Can she do that?"

"Apparently!" Candace said. "And both Mom and Dad had to work so I'm in charge."

"So no Merry Go Round?" Phineas asked.

"Or Hair Salon." Candace said.

"Dang." Phineas said. "Can we stay outside until they get here?"

Candace looked around. Nothing seemed too out of the ordinary. "Fine" she said, "but don't get dirty."

"Okay."

The boys sat down again beneath the tree. Phineas stared up into the sky, looking at the clouds. As a rule the brothers were an easy going pair. Phineas especially took on all problems with easy charm and enthusiasm. Ferb felt certain that his brother didn't share his apprehensions about Katrina. Phineas was, in the truest sense of the word, an innocent. He never saw evil anywhere. That was what made it so easy for him to over come it.

Sooner that Ferb would have liked, the doorbell rang. Candace got it. "The boys are outside." she said coldly, "I'll get them."

"Oh, that won't be necessary." Ferb heard his mother say. "I would hate to disturb them on my account. It's not a problem if I meet with my son and his step brother outside, is it, Miss Goldsplat?"

"Not at all." Miss Goldsplat said, though Ferb had the distinct impression she wasn't answering the question.

"Okay…" Candace said, "It's this way."

"Hello, Ferb." Katrina said, standing in the doorway. Ferb waved and got up. Phineas followed.

"Hello, Phineas." She greeted him as well. "So… what are you boys going to do today?"

Ferb looked at Phineas. His brother hesitated.

"Well…" Phineas began. "We **were **gonna build either a hair salon or a merry go round but-"

"Oh don't stop on my account." Katrina said kindly. "I feel awful about eating up your summer like this."

"Really?" Phineas looked at Ferb, a smile beginning to form on his face. Ferb said nothing.

"Of course." She grinned at him. "Why don't you build the Merry Go Round? It seems harder."

"Okay! Cool!" Phineas rushed to get the plans. "Come on Ferb!"

Ferb paused momentarily and looked at Katrina. Perhaps he'd been wrong about her. She seemed to have a sense of adventure after all. "Thank you."

"It's my pleasure." She smiled back.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, the Merry Go Round was built. As Phineas had said it was a bit more revved up that the usual model. The figures, ranging from horses to dinosaurs to platypuses, had their own engines that the riders could control and maneuver between each other. The track spiraled upwards into the sky and back down again after about two hundred feet. There were also obstacles to jump and duck over. Ferb was quite proud of his work as he sat at the controls, making sure nothing went wrong. Phineas, Isabella and the rest of their friends were riding, laughing and screaming simultaneously. Not to be left out, Ferb set the machine on autopilot and jumped on.

Katrina Ingleside watched from the house with a proud smile on her face. She turned to Miss. Goldsplat. "It's very impressive, isn't it?"

Goldsplat, her face impassive as ever, nodded. "Indeed. Amazing. Aren't they a little young to build something like that?"

"I don't see what age has to do with it. Ferb has a mechanical inclination." She smiled. "I can't help but be proud."

"It must be difficult, Katrina, to see him raised without you."

She nodded. "Ferb is very happy here."

* * *

The room was pitch black and the digital clock at Ferb's bedside read 3:24 AM. Perry the Platypus was not there. The two boys were fast asleep, dead to the world. Neither of them woke up when the glass shattered.

A dark figure entered silent. It glanced at each of the sleeping boys and pulled a small smoke grenade out of it's bag and pulled clip. Instantly smoke filled the room. The dark figure grabbed the boy and left through the window. It was hours before anyone realized he was gone.

* * *

So, just because it's darker and earth shattering doesn't mean there isn't a song. Also, preemtively, they haven't actually built the flying car of the future today, Candace just dreamed they did. Thanks for reading and please review. I'll try to get 4 out in better time.


	4. Chapter 4

Okay, so this got out in TERRIBLE time. I am sorry about that (and thank you to everyone sticking with me) but I'm just starting college and trying to make it in "legitamate" fiction (the minute I can make a living with fan fiction, I will DO IT!) so things are going to be irregular for a while. I do intend to finish this fic... it'll just take a while.

Anyway, I hope you like this.

* * *

_Doofenshmirtz's Evil Incorporated!_

The annoying evil jingle sounded immediately as Agent P (AKA Perry the Platypus) stealthily climbed in through the window. An extra _after hours! _followed and Perry wondered if Dr. Doofenshmirtz had the jingle motion activated when ever anyone came into the building. It seemed to Perry that it would get annoying.

Sneaking passed the evil devices, evil filing cabinets and evil receptionist's desk, Perry remained alert for any signs of the diabolical doctor's presence.

"But Daa-ad!" Dr. Doofenshmirtz's daughter, Vanessa, was there. She was obviously whining about something. Perry rolled his eyes. It was bad enough that he had to deal with an angst filled teenage girl in his family but on a mission!

"I don't want to hear it, Vanessa." Her father ordered in his strange Drulselstein accent. "You're coming with me and that's final!"

"I'm not going!" Vanessa snapped. "I don't wanna go!"

Perry the platypus leaned around the evil receptionist's desk for a better look. Doofenshmirtz was in his lab, surrounded by gadgets, buttons and 'inators'. His daughter, dressed in her traditional gothic leather, was complaining a few feet away about how all of her friends were here and she didn't want to leave.

"Well sometimes- excuse me, Vanessa." Doofenshmirtz pressed a button on his control panel and a tiny cage dropped around Perry the Platypus. "Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do."

"I wouldn't if you didn't **make **me!"

"Sorry, Perry the Platypus." Doofenshmirtz turned to face his nemesis. "Vanessa is just a little bit cranky."

"I'm not cranky!" Vanessa shouted. "I'm pissed off! God, do you have to dismiss everything I say?"

"Hey, watch your language!" Her father warned.

"You can't make me spend an entire summer outside the country!"

"Look, this is an excellent evil opportunity." Dr. Doofenshmirtz said. "And since your mother is on her honeymoon with Greg-" Doofenshmirtz said the name with singular distaste. "You have to come with me."

"Yeah, sure." She rolled her eyes. "Mom gets to go to the Caribbean while I'm stuck back in the old country."

"Perry the Platypus, I got a job offer!" Doofenshmirtz said excitedly. "Someone is finally attempting to build my ancestor's invention, the Distininator! See, I come from a long line of evil, Perry the Platypus. Anyway, they need someone to translate the plans and provide evil Doofenshmirtz consultation and they asked me! I even made a new jingle for it." He pressed another button.

_Doofenshmirtz evil consulting!_ Came the new evil jingle.

"Snazzy, isn't it?" He grinned. "But to take the job, I have to immigrate back to Drulselstein so tonight will be the last night I spend in the tri-state area!" He raised his fists in victory. "But before I go, I have one more evil scheme to finish so the people of Danville will remember my name in terror long after I'm gone."

"It's always about you, isn't it?" Vanessa demanded. "Your evil schemes, your job, your reign of terror! What about me? All my friends are here! If you make me go to Drulselstein, you're totally murdering my social life! All my friends are here! My boyfriend!"

"Yes, I know." Doofenshmirtz smiled slyly. "You'll have to leave poor little Johnny all alone, won't you? Such a shame!"

"Ugh! You're such a jerk!"

"Sorry, Perry the Platypus but I have to deal with this." Doofenshmirtz sighed. "Vanessa, don't you think it would be better to take a break from the boyfriend for a while?"

"No!" She said, obstinately. "I love him."

"That's not what you said last week." He reminded.

"Last week, he was cheating on me." Vanessa said hotly.

"You cried all night."

"And then I forgave him." Vanessa sighed. "He wrote me that beautiful poem."

"Yeeahh." Doofenshmirtz rolled his eyes. "Vanessa, there have been a lot of poems lately. He- He's not planning on doing that for a- for a **living**, is he? Because it's just- they're just terrible."

"Dad! Shut up!"

"Hey, no need to yell!" Doofenshmirtz leaned conspiratorially over the cage. "You should really hear them, Perry the Platypus, they're awful!"

"I'm not going to Druselstein!" Vanessa yelled.

"Vanessa, you're going! I'm your father and that's final!"

"AAA! I hate you!"" She screamed in frustration and stormed out of the room. Doofenshmirtz watched her go and sighed.

"You know, Perry the Platypus, I just don't understand teenagers." He said turning back to the cage. "Normally, Vanessa is such a smart girl but she just gets all moony around this Johnny character and looses all her common sense. You know he stepped out on my little girl three times in the last two months? I tried to get even with my Acneinator but- well you foiled that plot so you know what happened."

Agent P growled.

"Oh, listen to me going on and on!" Doofenshmirtz exclaimed. "It's not your problem, is it? You're just here to foil my evil schemes so let's just get started, okay? Okay. Here is my ingenious plan to forever link the name of Doofenshmirtz to terror in the Tri-State Area! And, by ingenious, I mean, completely genius!

"Well, Perry the Platypus, haven't you guessed my wicked plan yet? I'll give you a hint? What the one thing everyone's afraid of? That's right! Public speaking!" Doofenshmirtz sighed. "Well I couldn't really do anything with that. And the second one is dying alone but once again, it's not really my style. But the third biggest fear is rats!" he shouted triumphantly. "So, in order to forever associate the third greatest terror in the tri-state area to Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz, I made a rat mind control device-inator and all of these tiny little Doofenshmirtz masks for them." He smiled proudly. "Tomorrow morning, at exactly nine AM, while I am safely on the plane to Druselstein. I will order the rats to put their masks and take to the streets to terrify the populous! And since they'll all be wearing masks with my face on them, everyone will associate their fear of rats with me! You get it, Perry the Platypus."

Agent P growled.

"Well, it's all I could come up with on short notice!" Doofenshmirtz was clearly embarrassed at such a lame plan. That was a first.

"Whatever, I don't need your approval! You're just a stupid platypus secret agent in a stupid cage! Well… you're a stupid secret agent platypus who always thwarts my every scheme in a stupid cage that I built." Doofenshmirtz amended as Perry the Platypus pressed a cleverly concealed button on his hat causing the brim to whir like a chainsaw. Also like a chainsaw was the manner in which it cut through the bars of Doofenshmirtz's cage.

"Hey!" cried the despicable doctor. "You broke my stupid cage!"

Agent P slapped Doofenshmirtz across the face with his tail. The villain stumbled backwards tangling his feet in a pile of wires. "So you think you have won, eh, Perry the Platypus? Well, you didn't think about my rat mind control device, did you?" Dr. Doofenshmirtz triumphantly whipped out a tiny remote control and pressed the blue button.

Suddenly, Perry was swept up in a sea of rats wearing his nemesis's smiling likeness. Desperately, Perry grabbed rat after rat and threw them to the ground.

"Ack!" Doofenshmirtz cried. "There's a rat on me! Eww! They're so disgusting! Get it off!"

In his frenzy to remove the rat, Doofenshmirtz accidentally threw the rat mind control remote across the room. More determined that ever, Perry the Platypus leapt from the pile of rates and on to the remote.

"Hey! What are you doing?" Doofenshmirtz cried. "Stay away from that remote, Perry the platypus!"

Agent P paid no attention and quickly examined the device. On the back he found a small switch labeled reverse. He looked at Doofenshmirtz.

"Perry the platypus, no! Don't touch the reverse-" Doofenshmirtz was quickly covered in rats. Satisfied, Perry crushed the remote in his paw and switched on his jet pack.

As he rocketed away, Agent P could hear Doofenshmirtz's "Curse you, Perry the Platypus!" followed by a puzzled. "Why do I keep adding reverse switches? What possible benefit could that have for me?"

"It's because you're an idiot!" Vanessa shouted. "You put in a reverse switch because you're stupid!"

"Oh, thank you sooo much, Professor Vanessa!" Doofenshmirtz responded. "You still have to come with me."

* * *

"No, we don't know for sure, officer, but we think-" Linda did her best to remain calm as the world began to fall around her. Her family- what remained of it- needed her to be strong now. Her husband certainly wasn't playing the sensible one.

"Well who the bloody hell else would it be?" He demanded as his wife covered the receiver with her hand.

"Lawrence, please!"

He'd graduated from denial to anger around thirty minutes ago. "She took my son, the damn-" Lawrence cut off abruptly when he saw his other son staring at him.

Phineas hadn't said a word since they'd realized Ferb was gone. He wandered through the house, his eyes blank, still in pajamas, as though he were looking for something. As anxious and furious as Lawrence felt, he knew that Phineas took Ferb's disappearance the hardest. Candace seemed at a loss as well. She was in the kitchen, making another pot of coffee. She'd already done the dishes and taken out the trash. Lawrence sympathized with her; he wished he could be useful as well.

"She's supposed to be in a parole house called Mayflower apartments." Linda said into the phone. "Yes. Yes. Please hurry."

"They're sending an officer over and another to check on Katrina." She informed them, hanging up.

"Good." Her husband murmured. "Good. Linda, I'm sorry, I-"

"It's fine." She said shortly, sitting down on the couch. She felt so incredibly drained, though she'd only been up for a few hours. Now the helplessness was setting in again. The police were on their way. She'd done all she could.

Abruptly, Phineas stood and walked slowly into the kitchen. No one said anything but they heard the sliding door open and close. He'd gone to sit under the tree. Their tree. It felt empty and strange without Ferb there. Normally at this time (though today had been so surreal, Phineas wasn't even sure what time it was), the two of them would be concocting some sort of elaborate scheme. With Ferb gone, Phineas could barely focus. He was only keenly aware of emptiness in the pit of his stomach. Ferb was gone. After he'd discovered that fact, Phineas couldn't process anything else. Everything seemed dull and lifeless, like watching a black and white movie on mute.

"Hey, Phineas. Whatcha doin?"

He didn't look up. Isabella asked the same question of him everyday and usually, Phineas could answer her. Today, there were no words to describe what he was doing. He wasn't doing anything because half of him was gone.

Almost immediately, she knew something was wrong. The Flynn-Fletcher household was silent, an extremely rare occurrence on a summer afternoon. More importantly, Phineas wasn't talking. He stared into the distance, barely breathing, his eyes searching for something that wasn't there.

"Phineas?" Isabella crouched down beside him. "What's going on? Where is Ferb?"

"Ferb…" Phineas murmured and looked at her, tears welling in his eyes. "I don't-" He couldn't finish the sentence.

"Phineas!" Isabella shook him firmly. Phineas barely noticed it. He could only shake his head and dumbly repeat Ferb's name over and over again.

"Phineas, what happened to Ferb?" She demanded. Isabella had never seen Phineas like this.

"Ferb is gone." Isabella looked up. Candace stood in the doorway. Like Phineas, she seemed only a shadow of her former self. Her mascara was running and Isabella could tell she hadn't eaten that day. Still, the news Candace shared was more startling than her appearance.

"Gone?"

Candace nodded. "Gone. We don't know where. He went to bed last night and wasn't there this morning. The police are on their way."

Isabella's head was swimming. No wonder Phineas had gone practically catatonic. He and Ferb had been inseparable since… forever really. No wonder he was devastated. Isabella felt a little devastated herself. Ferb was her friend… his stoic presence had been a constant factor in her childhood. He laughed at her jokes and she actively participated in his and Phineas's schemes. It seemed impossible that he could simply… disappear.

"It was that woman wasn't it?" She looked at Candace. "His… biological-"

"That's what Dad thinks." Candace nodded. They were both loath to use the word mother in describing Katrina. Isabella had only seen her once, when she had watched as the boys built a fabulously intricate merry-go-round. She'd watched, not participated, with a faint smile on her face. A smile that, when Isabella thought of it now, made her very nervous.

"What do you think?" She asked Candace.

The teenager shook her head. "I don't know… I-"

"It was her." Phineas spoke softly, his first sentence of the day.

"I don't know…" Candace appeared on the verge of tears. "I don't know. What would she want with Ferb? She abandoned him! Eight years ago! Why now?"

"Ferb is a genius." Isabella said. "They both are. There's plenty of ways to use his talents for… bad stuff."

"Ferb would never-" Isabella stopped him.

"He might… if he thought he had too." Isabella's mind raced over the possibilities. It was a safe bet that he was in danger and Ferb would not be stupid enough to stand on principles if pressed. Or was he? Isabella had never seen the boys in a situation they couldn't handle. He was so quiet; she couldn't be sure exactly what Ferb would do if someone tried to force him into a morally questionable operation.

"Candace, what do we know about Katrina?" She asked quickly, knowing she wouldn't get anything out of Phineas. "Any idea where she might take him?"

"I don't know…" Candace murmured, running her fingers through her hair. "I can't think…"

Isabella glanced over her shoulder. It was only a matter of time before the rest of their friends came over to see what Phineas had planned for the day. When they did, it would mean further explanation and wasting time they didn't have. Isabella trusted her friends implicitly but they needed a plan first before they could ask for help.

"Maybe we should go inside." She suggested. Candace nodded. She staggered slowly toward her brother and put her hand on his shoulder. Phineas didn't move.

"Phineas?" Isabella gently clasped his hand in hers. "You need to get up, okay?"

"Why?" He asked hollowly.

"Because I know what we're going to do today. We're going to bring Ferb back."

* * *

Yeah, I had to get some Perry/Doofenshirmirtz action before the emotional talkie stuff. Please let me know what you think.


	5. Chapter 5

Holy Hell, it' been almost a year since I updated this story. Sorry it's so late, hopefully worth the wait, and please enjoy.

* * *

Katrina kept a tight grip on his wrist as she led Ferb across the air field. She did need to. Ferb had no intention of trying to escape. He'd woken up that morning in a back seat of a luxury car, his head still spinning from what ever his mother had used to keep him quiet. Ferb felt sure that he would not have allowed himself to be abducted without being rendered helpless by some foreign substance. The car had driven at break neck speeds to the air field. Ferb knew he would never be able to outrun Katrina. There was no one else around to help him. A small twin engine was waiting at the end of the airstrip. Ferb looked at his mother.

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see." She murmured, pulling him faster. These were the first words she'd said to him all day. Ferb was still in pajamas, another less rational reason not to attempt escape. It was frankly embarrassing and not the least awkward thing to run from a woman in pajamas, like a child trying to escape bed time.

A man wearing dark sunglasses met them by the plane. Katrina said something in a language Ferb didn't understand and the man nodded. The boarded the airplane. Ferb only got a brief view of the cockpit but he was fairly certain he could fly it with a minimum of difficulty. At least flying it would be simple. Dealing with Katrina and the other man might prove more difficult.

Katrina sat him by a window. "Buckle up." She told him.

He forced the metal buckle together. She'd put him in a window seat, effectively trapping him. Ferb supposed he could slip beneath the seat but he would have to wait until she was distracted and she wouldn't be distracted until they were up in the air.

If Phineas had been there, Ferb realized, they would have already taken over the plane. Phineas wouldn't have wasted time figuring out where he stood in the inevitable battle. Of course, Phineas never assumed there would be an inevitable battle. It never occurred to his brother that there might actually be evil people in the world.

_Or at least, _Ferb thought, looking at his biological mother _Not very nice people._

He felt like an idiot but Ferb still couldn't quite bring himself to hate her. He would have been better off if he'd hated her from the beginning- refused to see her. He supposed it wouldn't have made any real difference. Ferb had a feeling that the out come would have been the same whether he'd cooperated or not, but he had been so dangerously close to trusting her.

"Where are we going?" He asked again after the plane took off.

She looked down and smiled at him. "You can guess that, can't you?"

"Druselstein?" Ferb suggested. "Or perhaps the disintinator plans are in England now?"

"Clever." Katrina said. "We're going to Druselstein. The authorities there aren't really equipped to track us down. I wouldn't risk taking you back to England, you know the country."

Ferb watched her. So, this had been the plan all along. Ferb wondered how long Katrina had planned this. Phineas and Ferb's projects had enjoyed relative anonymity. In fact, now that he thought about it, it was amazing that something like this hadn't happened before.

"How did you find out about me?"

"Surely you're not that naïve." Katrina said. "I tracked you down over a year ago. Your exploits are all over the internet, though few people actually knew who you were. You've been quite busy, haven't you, darling?"

"So I'm just a tool for you, am I?" Ferb asked, not allowing his voice to betray any emotion. "You only want me to build the disintinator machine for you.."

She sighed. "Not… only. You are my son. I- I did miss you."

Ferb stared out the window. "You don't know me."

"Yes." Katrina whispered. "And that's my fault. But you don't know me either. We are family. We should… know each other."

He turned and glared at her. It was not Ferb's custom to speak so much in one day but no one else was there to say it for him. "You abducted me… took me from my family against my will. You obviously don't care about me-"

"That's not true!"

"-only what I can do for you."

"Ferb…" She placed her hand on his shoulder. "I don't know what your father told you about me but-"

"Dad never spoke ill of you." He shrugged her off. "You don't know that because you were never there. If you care about me at all then you'll take me home."

"You don't understand." She muttered. "I thought maybe… with your brain you would but you were raised by your father so I suppose you would adopt his opinions. Do you really want to go back to suburban anonymity, making toys? We could achieve greatness, Ferb."

He turned away. There was nothing more to say. The most he could do now was contemplate his escape and wonder what his family was doing.

* * *

"Do you have any idea where she might have taken him?" Isabella had listened carefully to Candace's knowledge of the situation. Now her mind formulated a plan to help the brothers.

"She's… British?" Candace offered in an exhausted tone. "Isabella, I don't know what we can do. Mom and Dad have already called the police-"

Isabella shook her head. "If he's been taken out of the country, the police might not be able to help. She's a fugitive so returning to-"

"They're not going to England." Phineas said softly.

"What makes you say that?" Isabella watched him carefully. He was obviously still in shock but some of the old glint was returning to Phineas' eye.

"Dad said Katrina had been imprisoned for stealing plans from the Drusteinain government." Phineas said. "Maybe she went there to find the plans again."

"Druselstein?" Isabella asked.

"There's an atlas in here somewhere." Phineas stood and went to his book case. Isabella breathed a soft sigh of relief. He was coming back. Phineas thrived on activity.

"Where is it?" She asked, leaning over his shoulder.

"Europe…" Phineas pointed. "See, right there in the German Alps."

"I've never even heard of Druselstein." Candace groaned.

"I'm not surprised." Isabella said, "It's tiny! Probably not much bigger than the Tri-State area. Is it even a country anymore?"

"If it's in the atlas…" Phineas shrugged. "Druselstein is probably the best place to start looking for them."

Isabella nodded. "So, how do we get there? I know you and Ferb already built an airplane once-"

"The paper pelican." Phineas remembered sadly how much the project had excited Ferb. He'd even broken out his mustache just for the occasion. "It would never make it across the Atlantic."

"No, it was made out of paper Mache." Isabella said. "But if you can build a plane out of paper Mache, I know you can build one out of metal."

Phineas shook his head. "Ferb…" his voice choked slightly but he recovered himself. "Ferb was always the better builder. I can come up with ideas but he's the one with the tools."

"Ferb's tools are still here." Isabella offered.

"Wait- why don't we just buy the tickets or tell Mom and Dad?" Candace suggested. "Or the police?"

"The police wouldn't have jurisdiction in Druselstein. It'd become an international matter it would take years." Isabella sighed. "We don't even know for sure that that's where they are."

"Mom and Dad… wouldn't let us." Phineas realized out loud. "They'd say we should go to the police."

"You can tell them everything when we get Ferb back." Isabella told him, knowing Phineas hated deceiving his parents.

"We can't build an airplane." Phineas said. "Ferb built everything. I didn't-"

"You never gave up on anything in your life." Isabella reminded firmly. "And you won't be working alone. We can help you."

Isabella sighed and turned to Candace. "I'm going to go get the others. Can you-" Isabella didn't exactly know what to ask for. Candace had never been very mechanically inclined and it probably went against her entire nature to actually participate in one of Phineas' activities rather that trying to bust them.

"I'll stay with Phineas." Candace nodded. "We can do some research about Druselstein, try and find out what to expect."

Isabella nodded gratefully. Without another word, she turned and went to get the others. With Ferb gone and Phineas all but catatonic, building the airplane would be difficult but not impossible. She had a willing work force and supplies would be readily available. Once they got the plane started, Phineas would surely latch on to the project to save his brother. Once they got Ferb back, everything would go precisely back to normal.

Isabella couldn't bear to think of what she'd do if it didn't.

* * *

"You know, I would have thought security would be much more of a hassle but it wasn't bad at all." Dr. Doofenshmirtz remarked to his daughter as they got off the plane in Munich. Vanessa was exhausted. The eight hour flight would now be followed by a three hour train ride to her father's tiny remote homeland. Doofenshmirtz had been talking about airport security the entire time.

"You know what's weird? I managed to get three inators through and two plans for world domination but they still took my sprite." Doofenshmirtz rolled his eyes. "And they say _**I'm **_crazy."

"Dad, maybe we should talk about this **out side **of the airport." Vanessa muttered. The other passengers, most of who were switching flights to go to a real destination, stared unabashed at the man in the lab coat and his Goth daughter. Vanessa didn't mind being stared at- if she wanted to blend in, she would dress like all of the other Abercrombie and Fitch rejects- but she didn't really feel like getting arrested for terrorism.

"Oh, so you're talking to me now?" Doofenshmirtz asked. "You were silent as… as a mime for the whole flight." He paused. "What do you think of that simile? I don't- I don't really like it very much but I had to think of something that was silent-"

"My bad." Vanessa groaned. "Acknowledging it just encourages the problem."

"I don't understand half the things you say." Doofenshmirtz shook his head in wonderment, pulling a blue duffle bag over his shoulder.

"Herr Doctor Doofenshmirtz?" A cultured sounding voice spoke behind them. Vanessa turned to see a large dark skinned man wearing a black turtle neck and suit jacket. His entire outfit was black. She would have complimented him on his gothic leaning but she had a feeling this person disapproved of chatter. He'd certainly made a mistake in talking to her father if that were the case.

"Why, yes! I am Heinz Doofenshmirtz!" He said, very pleased to be recognized. "How did you know?"

"You were the only one in a lab coat." He said in an unmistakable British accent. "Please follow me."

Doofenshmirtz happily obliged. Vanessa extended the handle of her rolling suitcase and followed him. The man in black turned to look at her with an expression she was not at all comfortable with. His eyes narrowed and he began to reach into his jacket.

"Oh, I forgot!" Doofenshmirtz said, completely oblivious as usual. "This is my daughter, Vanessa! I informed Ms.-"

"Very well sir." The man in black took his hand from his pocket. "May I ask that you refrain from mentioning our employer in public settings? The nature of our business here is highly… sensitive. We must be discreet."

_Again. _Vanessa thought. _You're talking to the wrong guy in a lab coat._

The man in black, with out bothering to tell them his name, lead them to a small black SUV. Doofenshmirtz put his luggage in the back but Vanessa kept her backpack with her. She had an ominous feeling about this trip.

Even her father's obnoxious chatter dwindled away into silence as the stone faced man in black drove them through Druselstien's bleak gray hills. Vanessa stared out the window, hoping against hope that there would be an internet connection wherever they were going in this awful country.

_Actually,_ she thought, after she'd slipped on her headphones and turned the music up as high as it would go. _It's not that bad. _

They were driving through a thick forest, with big black trees loaming to either side of them. A cold mist had settled over the landscape wand every few minutes a dilapidated farm house would poke out and disappear behind them. The scenery at least was suited to Vanessa's taste. It was dull gray and depressing, like Hansel and Gretel if the brother's grim had been bipolar. True, she'd have preferred a city that looked like a bomb and zombie infestation had hit at the same time but this had potential.

It was at least thirty minutes before the car stopped in front of a tiny farm house. Doofenshmirtz was snoring loudly and Vanessa had to stifle a yawn of her own. The man in black, who still did not deem it worth the trouble to tell them his name, woke the "doctor" and told them to get out of the car and bring their luggage. Vanessa surveyed the house with singular distaste. Her father shared her reservations.

"This is the place?" He demanded. "This? It's tiny! I was lead to believe that I could accomplish some real evil by joining this woman! This looks like we're going to open a dairy farm! Just what are you-?"

"Doctor…" The man in black spoke in a heavy tone that made her father instantly stop talking. Vanessa would have to learn that trick. "You and your daughter will come inside. Now."

They followed without a word. Anxious but curious, Vanessa pulled out her cell phone. Of course there were no bars out here in nowhere E.U. She supposed if worse came to worse she could throw it at the big guy's head.

As they entered the cabin, the first thing she noticed was absolutely nothing. The cottage was empty with out a stick of furniture or even a light bulb. Vanessa leaned closer to her father.

"Dad?" She asked, "What exactly is this job you signed up for?"

"Please, step into the middle of the room." Said the man in black before Doofenshmirtz could answer.

"Now, just hold on a second-" Doofenshmirtz began angrily.

"Now. Please." He said loudly and Vanessa heard the click of a firearm. Without a word, she pushed her protesting father into the center of the empty room, her eyes never leaving the gun shaped bulge in the man's pocket. If they ever managed to get out of this alive, she would kill Doofenshmirtz herself.

"Thank you." The man in black said with a smile. He backed towards the wall, his gun still trained on the Doofenshmirtzes. He flipped a small switch on the wall and for a moment, Vanessa wondered why- there were no lights in the room-

And then she was in free fall, plummeting through a clear plastic tube as break neck speed! Vanessa screamed. Beside her, Doofenshmirtz was cackling like a kid on a rollercoaster.

"This is fun, isn't it, Vanessa!" He shouted to her.

Vanessa grabbed his arm and the nearest piece of luggage and held on tight.

They landed in a heap, mercifully still alive and without any broken bones. Vanessa groaned and pulled her self into a sitting position. Doofenshmirtz was already standing. No doubt, he didn't think anything of the fall having suffered much worse at the hands of a platypus or the paws of a platypus or whatever. His eyes were wide and his diabolical grin wider. Vanessa looked around to see what had given her father so much joy.

They were sitting in an Evil Genius's day dream. As an evil idiot, her father could not be more overjoyed. Sinister looking people in lab coats and sunglasses rushed around with clipboards and beakers full of chemicals. Vanessa couldn't imagine what half of the whirring contraptions were for but she could recognize some lasers and a rocket loaming in the distance.

_Why would anyone keep a rocket underground?_ She wondered dimly, waiting for someone to talk to them. The impact from the fall had made her light headed.

"Ah, Doctor Doofenshmirtz!" A woman with short green hair strode forward. She was wearing knee high black boots with impressive heels over tight leather pants and a purple tank top. Vanessa had to admire her guts; the woman appeared to be at least thirty or forty years old. She also wore lab coat. Vanessa was quickly starting to despise lab coats. "I trust your journey was pleasant."

"Pleasant?" Vanessa said, outraged. "What the hell is wrong with you! We could have died in that damn tube! You've got a rocket over there, you couldn't fit in an elevator!"

"You must be Vanessa." The woman said with a smile. "My name is Katrina Ingleside. In answer to your question, we do have an elevator but that's only used by authorized personal, which neither of you are yet. I find I get more productivity when my employees are not distracted by the outside world."

Vanessa was about to tell her exactly where she could stick her productivity when her father clapped her hand over her mouth.

"Ms. Ingleside! This lair is fantastic! I love what you've done with the rocket!"

Ingleside nodded. "Thank you, doctor. This facility is nearly a decade in the making so I do hope it will be adequate to get the Disintinator up and running."

"Oh certainly, certainly." Doofenshmirtz agreed enthusiastically. "It'll be a simple matter of translating the plans and acquiring the necessary parts. You have the plans, of course?"

"Of course." She said. "We've made several copies but Ancient Druselstienian is a rather obscure language. Not many people can translate. That's why I contacted you, Doctor."

"Of course." Doofenshmirtz said, getting misty eyed. Vanessa could feel a back story coming on. "It all started with my great great grand mother, Vanhelgashtin Doofenshmirtz, who taught be to speak it. She was one hundred and twelve years old and compulsive liar. I wanted to learn French but she said-"

Vanessa was well trained in ignoring her father. She took the opportunity to take a closer look at Katrina Ingleside. Something about the woman made her uneasy. She wondered what exactly the purpose of a Distinator was. From the looks of the facility and the woman running it, nothing good. Doofenshmirtz had gotten himself in over his evil head this time. Vanessa wouldn't have minded except he'd decided to drag her along with him.

Then Vanessa noticed him. In the hustle of the room and the excitement of being dropped into it, the small boy standing behind Katrina was easy to miss. He was staring at her in shock and recognition. Vanessa blinked and then recognized him herself. She'd met him almost a year ago, at the mall, when he'd helped her find Pizzazium Infinionite for her father. His name was Ferb or something like that. What was he doing here?

"Hey aren't you that-" She began but stopped immediately at the slight shake of Ferb's head. It was him, she was sure of it. So why didn't he want her to say it? Vanessa kept quiet, wondering again just what her father got them into.

* * *

No promises for when this will next be updated. Sorry again for the wait and please review.


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